Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Before we get into the specifics of November Rain, let’s meet the players.
This is Axl Rose. Many years ago he arrived in L.A. a naïve young hayseed with a fondness for wheat stalks and eye make-up.
He was quickly corrupted by the city, or “jungle,” where sin and temptation were around every corner. For example, look at this steamy billboard:
I mean, that billboard alone could turn any innocent youngster from this:
He’s the singer in the band, but sometimes he prefers to whistle.
He’s terribly afraid of being hit by a foul ball, so he always wears a chest protector on stage.
By 1988 Axl’s persona couldn’t have been further from that hick that stepped off the bus. Look at him. The quintessential rock star.
Yep, he was one cool guy. A totally….authentic…
What the hell?Okay, so his coolness didn’t even last as long as the George Bush administration. Around the release of the multi-platinum albums Use Your Illusion I and II he turned from bad-ass rocker to pompous douche bag. This is also around the same time he started dating Victoria’s Secret model Stephanie Seymour, the second character in our story.
Cool, sixteen more pages.
What? No, what were talking about? Oh right! Here you go.
Although she made a name for herself as a supermodel she’s probably best known as an adult acne survivor. She appeared in infomercials for The Proactiv Solution but she is no longer mentioned on the website. I wonder what the story is there?
It may have seemed like Axl and Stephanie had a stable relationship, what with all the cemetery picnics.
And don’t even think of giving that blonde tramp at the bar free piano lessons.
and then Slash gets frightened.
-to the company of a good woman.
When his girlfriend gets mad at him-
Axl sings the lyrics “Love is always coming love is always going.” More foreshadowing, kids.
Don’t you want to just punch Axl's smug face as hard as you can?
A flashback within a flashback? That’s what I call artsy! I believe this is the engagement party. Look how happy everybody is.
Luckily Bass Player (the better man) has it.
Like Tom Cruise, Axl tries to promote his religion whenever possible. That pinky ring shows that he has pledged his loyalty to the Dark Lord Sauron.
After he’s done with a solo he just tosses the guitar aside like a cigarette butt.