Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Part 12: where are they now?

In 1993 Guns n’ Roses was the most popular band in the world.

But that wasn’t enough for Axl. After Stephanie’s death he was inconsolable and took to showering with his clothes on.

Eventually he took time off from the band and poured his heart and soul into designing and marketing the “Air Axl” sneaker.

The shoes did not sell well at all. That was the last straw for Axl. While traveling on a cargo ship delivering the unsold shoes to third world countries, he threw himself over the side.

He survived the fall, but was savagely killed by a pack of angry dolphins.

Luckily, Axl had been cloned at the height of his popularity.

The Axl clones have been working on a new album, “Chinese Democracy,” for years. Unfortunately creative disagreements between Axl #2 & Axl #3 and Axl’s Ghost have caused delay after delay.

Supposedly the album will come out this fall, which will inevitably lead to lawsuits over royalties (the Axl clones feel that they deserve more than the ghost since they're so much more corporeal).

Slash still travels the world performing awesome solos whenever the urge strikes him.

And Bass Player? Nobody cares about Bass Player, but in case you do want to know, his pancreas exploded.

And there you have it.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hahahah, that's was funny.

Anonymous said...

[pointlessly pedantic]
That's not Carnegie Hall, it's the old Orpheum Theatre in downtown L.A.
[/pointlessly pedantic]

Adriana said...

So funny! xD